Eat at your own risk.;) |
The title may sound like the name of a dish I would want to share with everyone...but this one is a bizarre case..of an attempt to make chicken biryani--which totally turned otherwise...
A Saturday I was waiting for as had promised a friend I'd make chicken biryani for him....so I was excited...excited to try something new---
and this is what happened---the chain of events...
1: Go Shopping
How great I am at grocery shopping, well that's how it goes--
- Gets into this chicken shop. (PS- Had always accompanied my dad, so was not really aware of what is the quantity to be taken....) I asked the vendor...
Me: Bhaiya...chicken hai....(Ofcourse it was like everywhere)
Bhaiya: Madam, aap ko kaisa chahiye....
Me: Clueless.....Ahhhh , Mujhe biryani bnana hai, kaunsa chalega...(Saw two guys laughing on that....but who cares)
Bhaiya: Boneless, leg piece, koi bhi le lijiye...
Me: (Boneless sounded descent so I opted for it)...ahhhh...Boneless!!
Bhaiya: Kitna chahiye...
Me: After a lot of thinking....I said....250 grams...
The vendor chopped the pieces and I almost felt it was an achievement in itself to be able to buy chicken...
2: The 2 hour ordeal
I marinated the boneless chicken pieces in almost everything I found in the kitchen...I have always been a good experimental cook...so having faith in my instincts...there went curd, cumin, grated ginger, garlic, green chillies...pepper--I think the entire kitchen was in that bowl--
How much rice...well I have never known that estimate...so I soaked some two bowls...for two of us...(that was a lot).
After an hour of wait, I kept the pan on the induction...and started putting the ingredients, one after the other like an expert chef (of-course assuming myself to be one).
I kinda always assume I am on Khana Khazan LIVE when I cook
I don't know what happened after that..
As if the chicken came to life...for it did not wanted to be killed and cooked....added water, steamed...but nothing happened...not even a piece could be cut into two...
Frustrated---I added more water and then rice into the pan---
Induction plays tricks with you, if its low, you can hardly make out that your dish will cook or not, if its high...well I have many such incidents, the house has been on fire.
But after two hours of juggling with biryani, or should I put, with the dish I wanted to make...it finally looked as if it is ready--
PS--it didnt look like biryani at all...to me it just looked like a khichdi with chicken pieces!
My friend, meanwhile was waiting for his turn to taste something I'd been boasting about for days---
3. Aftermath
I clearly told him........eat at your own risk...!
But keeping someone hungry till 11 is an offence, especially when you have invited the person---
So he took like a plate full of whatever that thing was---I call it chicken khichdi...and he said amazing..
I was instead busy matching the expression in his eyes to the words from his mouth :D
Is it, I said?
and I took the first spoon--
and then for the first time in life...I thanked god...for the fact that there was a chutney that helped me engulf it...
It was as if demons had come inside the pan and squashed everything...the taste was tangy, salty, peppery, sweet too for some reason (whooh...I added cashews to it).
I think I had 7 spoons in total, I finished the entire chutney, that was a blessing in disguise as it was required to engulf those 7 deadly spoons of waste--
and seeing him eat, like 2 plates ...I was wondering man...it is not good..it sucks...
I am a disaster ...
I am sure had Osmama had this Chicken Khichdi....he would have bombed India there and then...!!
We finally had like two bowls of butterscotch ice-cream after that-
For me to revive from the cooking aftershock, and for my friend, probably to forget what he just ate....!!
Morals
1. Never try to be an expert while cooking, if you do not know anything, google it...call your mum
2. Experiment only on close friends ( Glad, I did just that :D)
3. If ever you are trying to impress somebody with your cooking skills--- don't take the risk, order from a nearest restaurant ;)
hilarious :D
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